Someone asked me today if I remember anything about the day the head pain started. I have gone through that in my mind so many times!
First, I'm not entirely sure if it started on March 13 or a little before. I have it in my head (ha) that it started one day on my way to body pump class. I remember it being pretty bad and taking some Advil to get it down. For some reason, that's the day that I tie to the event. I remember sharing a picture of me when I was little and Rylee and that they looked similar - that's why I can pinpoint the date. I am able to reference exactly when that picture was posted.
I also vaguely remember maybe having it when I took my kids to the Nampa Rec Center to go swimming. I remember Josiah had a friend in town and I remember kind of feeling it in there all day. This event was probably a few days before!
I have always wondered if body pump did something physically - that is, if this is even a physical problem. I remember the instructor saying you should only be doing it a few days a week and I was doing it like every day. You put a heavy bar on your shoulders. Then came the neck pain and accompanying head pain (which is the primary problem, who knows, the chicken or the egg). So could that have damaged something? Possibly, but you would think the six different chiropractors I've seen (and I'm talking full programs where I went multiple times per week) would have done at least something. They would at least make me feel a little better - which I really can't say they do much for me.
I also took a bunch of antibiotics in November/December leading into this problem - it started in March. February was my one "healthy month." I was having weird bladder issues where I always felt like I needed to pee! They always assumed it was a UTI, would give me antibiotics for it, and then would call me back and say you can stop the meds, the culture showed nothing. This happened so many times! So maybe I had some kind of virus, bacteria, etc. and it set off something auto-immune related? I also stopped using birth control around this time so I wondered if I messed up my hormones as well.
The last thing that was going on at this time was I was taking an online makeup course - The Money Method. This health issue came on really close to a time where we all "shared our truths." It was a lot of deep, emotional stuff that everyone shared. It was wild because we hardly knew each other. I think that's what made it feel like a safe space to share. So I have always wondered if I opened something up emotionally. I don't know what to do about that. It's much harder to fix things emotionally than physically, it seems. Or perhaps I opened myself up to a lot of emotional baggage from other people? Took the burdens on myself?
My symptoms are constant head pain (not always a headache, it's hard to explain the difference). It's a constant pressure. Pressure in my eyes, general pressure in my head. I almost always have neck pain on the right side. I get nausea and anxiety when it gets really bad. Advil and other NSAIDS seem to take the edge for a bit, but then it's right back. They never completely get rid of the feeling either. I have literally had some form of head pain for over 1,000 days. I don't think people can even comprehend that.
Thoughts?
No comments:
Post a Comment